I just need to say this now so that everyone will understand, but I do have a problem with being a regular poster. I can't keep up with it and at times I might go months without a single post. So forewarning you now, if you don't see me, don't worry about me. I'm fine. I've just gotten busy or just haven't felt like posting anything, so please don't worry about it.
On other news, I'm excited to be doing MS/HS camp next week up near Gainesville. It should be a lot of fun and I hope that the students enjoy it (since the whole camp was planned out by adults with no student involvement). In fact, all the students know about the camp is that the theme is "Consume." Well as long as nothing is said, I'll let you in on a little secret, the camp theme is going to focus on TV shows. Yep, how we are consumed by TV shows and tying that into how we are to be consumed by and with God.
I'll have to admit, I am consumed by shows, some of them very worthy of lots of involvement, such as 24 or Lost, others which are just stupid and I'm still trying to figure out why I'm watching it, such as Hannah Montana (can someone please try and explain this one to me).
Its amazing how there are people that are so consumed by the shows that are on TV right now and when we see what new shows are starting to pop up, we see a new generation of Game and Reality TV shows. Some of them are interesting, I have to admit, I'm not always smarter than a 5th Grader but give me a break I've been out of school for almost 4 years now and I didn't even take American History in school, but what is up with the new one about knowing song lyrics?
Anyways, camp looks like it should be fun, and I can't wait to get to know the students more, although I do wish I had gotten the devotionals earlier so that I could better prepare. I don't like reading it at the same time and then leading the discussion group because I never feel prepared (like today when I haven't read my lesson for tomorrow, oh well, I'll do it in the morning).
Post more later (hopefully after camp)
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sunday, July 8, 2007
A new bowl
Well I've decided to start a new bowl, a new place to put all of my thoughts and the things that go on in my life and where I can come back and just connect the dots. I'm not sure how much in detail this may go or if it will be very shallow or even a mixture of both but only time will tell. Currently my life is good. I have a good job, great friends, and a family that loves me, what else do I need?
How about a brother that can be free from his depression, the alcohol that still seems to want to take hold and the cutting that allows him to feel in some small part in control. Yep, its difficult to deal with because I don't know how to deal with it. You hear about other people who have friends or family members that suffer with it, but it seems so distant because it doesn't involve you. But what if it really does? How does one deal with it? I really don't know. I've always been a quiet person, the one that everyone comes to just to unload their problems, a listening ear. I'm not expected to have the answers or give the advice that they might need, I'm just there to listen and to show that I care. So how do I show this to a brother who I hardly see because of scheduling differences, that even though I'm not saying it, I do still love him and that I do still pray for him? He'd been doing so well for so long, and now seems to be backsliding. I'm thankful for my friends from church who are able to talk to him and give him advice and be there for him when I'm not. Occasionally I do feel resentful about it, because I keep thinking 'What would my life be if my brother wasn't this way?' But I have to constantly remind myself that its not his fault. I love my brother and I wish I knew how best to help him but I don't and I know that the only thing that I can continue to do is pray for him everyday and pray that God will intercede and bring him out of a depression stage, keep him away from the alcohol, and stop him from cutting.
How about a brother that can be free from his depression, the alcohol that still seems to want to take hold and the cutting that allows him to feel in some small part in control. Yep, its difficult to deal with because I don't know how to deal with it. You hear about other people who have friends or family members that suffer with it, but it seems so distant because it doesn't involve you. But what if it really does? How does one deal with it? I really don't know. I've always been a quiet person, the one that everyone comes to just to unload their problems, a listening ear. I'm not expected to have the answers or give the advice that they might need, I'm just there to listen and to show that I care. So how do I show this to a brother who I hardly see because of scheduling differences, that even though I'm not saying it, I do still love him and that I do still pray for him? He'd been doing so well for so long, and now seems to be backsliding. I'm thankful for my friends from church who are able to talk to him and give him advice and be there for him when I'm not. Occasionally I do feel resentful about it, because I keep thinking 'What would my life be if my brother wasn't this way?' But I have to constantly remind myself that its not his fault. I love my brother and I wish I knew how best to help him but I don't and I know that the only thing that I can continue to do is pray for him everyday and pray that God will intercede and bring him out of a depression stage, keep him away from the alcohol, and stop him from cutting.
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